Wario is Waluigi's only friend. He is a stinky man who farts a lot (is a fart rival to Big Chungus). He eats a lot of garlic and can probably vore people whole with his neutral B. Wario has dated Waluigi's Sister, (Shokora), but later dumped her for Mona because it turns out Shokora's pubic hair is in the shape of Waluigi's mustache and it's a real turn-off. (It runs in the family) Anyways Wario is also very strong and can lift up five elephants at once. He also loves to shoulder bash. His rival is Captain Syrup, a sexy pirate woman who only decides to exist in Wario Land, she looks like Pauline and probably is Pauline because Pauline's a fucking slut dumb bitch get kidnapped by APES TOGETHER STRONG.
- Sit on
- Shoulder bash
- Ground pound
Waluigi - Best Friend. (his "bro")
Mona - Pizza slut.
Jimmy T. - Childhood friend.
Rosalina - Doesn't really care about her, shes just Waluig's wife.
Waluigis children - Brats, he steals their piggybanks!
Big Chungus - Fart Rival.
Mario - Rival.
Luigi - Wimp.
Captain Syrup - Other Rival.
Mario - Warios childhood friend. Mario would somewhat bully Wario back in their childhood, but it was all in good fun, right?
Luigi - wimp
Waluigi - His duo partner in crime, Waluigi is smart, but is a fucking idiot at most times. Seriously, why did he think it was a good idea to touch that assist trophy cage? now he's trapped forever!
THE SHIT ISLAND RAID:
Wario fought in the great Mushroom Kingdom Wars to take down Bowser and Peach The Slut. (WARIO HATES SLUTS, HOES, AND WHORES.) When Wario got involved in the war he was basically doomguy crushing corpses. Those blacks never stood a chance. Anyways Wario had been chilling in his castle when suddenly a giant ball of shit crashed into his pool! GROSS! "OH MY GOD! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH" Said Wario, when he suddenly saw where it was coming from.... Wario turned to Waluigi and smacked him out of his Time Lord Form, saying they could get rich if they went to shit island and sold all the shit as manure.
Waluigi agreed while plugging his fat pink nose. They get onto a shitty wooden boat and slowly make their way to Shit Island, where they see Red and friends sneak in using a fat ugandan knuckles suit. Wario gives Waluigi a bucket and starts telling him to scoop up some shit and put into some bags.
Waluigi protests but as Wario grabs him by his collar he decides to do it. Wario then snuck into the base and saw a V.I.P door. Wario, believing himself as a VERY IMPORTANT PERSON decides to go in. Suddenly, before Wario... he saw... A GIANT GOLDEN TOILET. "OH MY GOD!" screamed Wario. "I'M GONNA BE RICH, RICH RIIIIICHHH!" Warios eyes became literal dollarsigns. (KA-CHING!) as he started to fantasize about being rich, living in a mansion in a place called Starcross.
Wario grabbed onto the toilet and tried to lift it, but it was too heavy. Wario thinks, before running back to Waluigi, who was still scooping shit into bags, his weakling arms could only fill two bags but.. Waluigi grabbed a bag and started to shit into it "NO, NO!" yelled Wario. "I WANT THE STUFF ON THIS ISLAND, NOT YOUR GARBAGE CHEAP POOP! THAT STUFF IS CRAP." Wario yelled once more, as he reached into his boat and pulled out a piece of garlic, eating it and suddenly becoming WARIO MAN!
As he dashes back in the lair at super sonic speeds, running past the bathroom where the ugandan who hit the sink was laying, dead. He makes it to the golden toilet and grabs onto it, slowly lifting it up.. "HRRRGGGHH..." Wario pulled the giant golden toilet out of the lair slowly, but he was suddenly surrounded by ugandan guards "BRUDDAHS! HE IS TAKIN' DA CHUNGUS'S THRONE! ONLY DA CHUNGUS'S ROYAL BOTTOMS CAN SIT AND SHIT ON DAT!" Wario looked at the screen "Uh oh.." His powers suddenly ran out as the giant golden toilet crushed Wario.
Meanwhile, Waluigi was finished filling all 2,486 bags of shit, putting them all on the boat, somehow fitting on the old wooden boat despite all laws of gravity going against it. Waluigi turned to suddenly see a giant toilet, HIS EYES BURST OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS AS HIS TONGUE DROPS TO THE SHITTY GROUND, HIS TONGUE ROLLING OUT LIKE A RED CARPET TO A GRAND EVENT, all over the shit. "HUMINA HUMINA HUMINA, WALUIGI WILL BE RICH IF HE GETS HIS HANDS ON THAT GOLDEN SHITTER!!" Waluigi pushes his eyes back into their sockets and would pull his jaw back up as he sneaked towards the giant toilet, as the ugandans were all too busy dealing with Red bird and friends somewhere else...
Waluigi rolls in on a crane and pushes the toilet over, only to see Waluigi flattened under the giant golden toilet "WARIO?!" Wario replied "Oiuuugghh..." before walking out, Waluigi grabs the flattened Wario and uses him as a telescope, looking into the base "Waluigi thinks we got time..." before unflattening Wario, as Wario dizzily walks around, before shaking himself back to normal.
"RRGH! I WANT THAT GOLDEN POOPER!" Wario starts to push the toilet towards the boat "CMON, WALUIG!" Waluigi would walk up to the toilet, sighing loudly before pushing at it, his weak boney arms doing pretty much nothing as WARIOS BUFF PULSING MUSCLES PUSH AGAINST THE TOILET, AS HE SMILED AT HIS OWN REFLECTION ON THE TOILET.
Suddenly... "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? AWF! AWF! AWF AWF! WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? AWF! AWF! AWF AWF!" STARTED TO BLARE OUT LOUDLY AS MULTIPLE GUARD DOGS WERE LET LOOSE. WARIO AND WALUIGIS JAWS DROPPED AS THEIR EYES FLEW OUT OF THEIR SOCKETS, BEFORE THEY RAN IN PLACE FOR A FEW SECONDS, THEN RUNNING AWAY.
A few minutes later, Wario peeked out from behind a shit bush, peering at the guard dogs... "Ey Waluigi, got any steak on you?" Waluigi ponders for a moment, before pulling a piece of steak out of his overalls pelvis area. "Waluigi always keep a big chunk of meat for the ladies!" Wario grabbed the steak and threw it into a large pit where all the dogs ran in and fell to their shitty deaths "WONDERFUL!" yelled Wario. Wario would then go back to pushing the Golden Toilet back towards the boat, before finally pushing it onto the boat. but the boat then breaks apart from the Golden Toilets weight as the golden toilet sank to the bottom of the ocean.
". . ." Silence was heard as Wario started beating on Waluigi "STUPID, STUPID STUPID! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT WOULD HAPPEN?" Waluigi screamed "I THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T BE STUPID ENOUGH TO PUT IT ON A FRAGILE WOODEN BOAT WAUGGHH!" Suddenly.. a countdown to the islands destruction sequence was heard... Wario and Waluigi make a raft using the bags of shit and quickly sail away... meanwhile at the bottom of the ocean.... Spongebob and Patrick look upon this giant golden artifact "Woaah..... Patrick, I think THE SKY IS TRAINING GIANT TOILETS!" Patrick laughed "Phew, mines been clogged all weak, I sure needed a new one."